Intimacy and Conflict

By | October 11, 2017

intimacy is difficult because, it’s about the wholeness of the experience and who gets the other 25% if you’re only sharing say 75% yourself in the relationship practicing sharing less and less, suddenly your friend starts getting the other 50% right or some other person starts getting the 50% and the connection between the two of you the bandwidth in the relationship just gets more and more narrow and less able to hold conflict, disagreements, fights, differences of opinion totally.
Even if it weren’t to go to someone else outside the relationship. it might just be that you’re not fully then showing up in your life you’re right a lot of us will get small in order to stay in relationship with sort of an easier path of being a relationship but it’s sort of short term ease for long term the relationships probably not going to work says White City Escorts.
do you think there’s ever a time then when, you wouldn’t want to share your feelings is there ever a time, when you’re in a relationship with somebody, you’ve got these things going on and I can imagine how someone might take this quite dogmatically and just sharing experience consistently and actually maybe hurting the other person or causing a little bit too much and do stress in the communication where they’re wondering where my commitment is or they’re having to almost like weather the storm of constantly, consistently hearing my emotions. so how would one know when to share and what to share versus when to hold back and realize like this is this is for you to handle on your own versus bringing it into the relationship and presented as something that where you’re being transparent.
I don’t think there’s exact hard and fast rule on that but you’re going to throw out two or three things that I think will give some context says White City Escorts from
one is I think it’s useful to have a place in your life where you’re getting to work your stuff there’s not your relationship right which could be your men’s group it could be your best buddy it could be your therapist it could be a spiritual guidance teacher. Some place where you get another perspective and where you can fully let anything out without it having the impact on the other person that they’re going to take it personally. Because that takes practice in relationship.
I think the second part of this is there’s a difference between telling someone what your experiences and acting out so if I’m angry with you I’ll go tell I’m really angry with you right now and here’s why and here’s what’s going on that’s different than me acting out and kind of provoked you, trying to get you to agree with me or trying to get you to change something and for most of us it’s real work to be able to own our experience in that way so it’s like you are not the problem, there might be something I want you to change and there might be an adjustment that we can make but actually I’m going to take some responsibility for my experience right now you’re not the only reason I’m angry and so not acting out because typically when we act out we trigger and now we’re in a trigger pattern together

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